Saturday, August 3, 2013

Mayonnaise of Exquiste Flavor!


I’m enough of a nerd that any time I see a phrase structured noun of adjective noun I'm immediately taken back to Gary Gygax’s Dungeons and Dragons. Digging into the tables at the back of the Dungeon Master’s Guide a player could find tables listing the enchanted items that characters could find while trawling through the depths of a dungeon. These magical treasures had names like the Amulet of Inescapable Location, the Book of Exalted Deeds, the Beaker of Plentiful Potions, and the Periapt of Foul Rotting. Seeing this ad in the August 1939 issue of Life Magazine for Mayonnaise of Exquisite Flavor took me back to my geeky youth and left left me pondering the sort of wizard who would create enchanted condiments. Maybe Gaston of Crossed Forks or Mel of Distant Diner? Did they also create a Catsup of Tantalizing Taste and a Mustard of Incredible Savor? Some questions are lost to the ages.

As for the ad, I really have to wonder why anyone serves mayonnaise with Jell-O. I mean, I knew that cooks of the 50s believed everything tasted better if encapsulated in a thick layer of transparent gel, but I didn’t realize condiments were required too. The phrase “And the smooth texture so important to mayonnaise is achieved by a remarkable blender which is exclusive with Kraft” seems curious too. I mean it sounds like Kraft has a special relationship with this blender. Maybe they’ve gone past going steady and rings have been purchased?

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